I guess it’s time to introduce myself. I’m Patrick, and not the Krusty Krab, and I’m in the United States Army. I have an amazing and extremely loving and supportive girlfriend/fiancee named Sam… she’s awesome, which is a huge understatement. I love her so much.
I’m not going to sugar coat anything, being in the military can have its strains on a relationship, especially one that falls under the LGBTQ category; there are so many more restrictions we have to worry about, all while trying not to get caught.
Most of my friends know I like women (and everyone who knows is awesome with it), but none of my comrades here know I’m trans*, except one. I came out to her during AIT, when I was under a lot of stress from the classwork, while on the verge of a breakdown. She was very open and accepting of this, and I consider her the best battle buddy any Soldier/Sailor/Marine/Airman could ask for. If I could trust anyone downrange, it’d be her.
However, I’m here to say that not every person in the military is or will be this accepting. I would advise anyone who is trans* and going into the service to not reveal this about themselves. Yes, I took a risk, but I had to tell someone. Trans* individuals currently do not have the right to serve. Someday, maybe. But not yet.
No one else knows, however. In the civilian world, I bind, but I can’t do that here. I do so much regarding PT and other physically demanding activities that it just wouldn’t be safe; in the sense of fear of it coming off and for my health… I wouldn’t want to get overheated on a run. While in garrison, I wear a sports bra, just like every other female bodied individual who serves. In Basic Combat Training, I was issued female underwear, which I wore without question, due to the fact we had frequent locker inspections, and I would be mortified if a drill sergeant ever knew. I wore men’s underwear before I left for the Army, and I have started wearing them again the past few months, I immediately started donning men’s underwear again once I got to AIT, where they didn’t care what you wore under your uniform. I’m currently stationed stateside at my first duty station, and they don’t care here either. I don’t bind, but I might start again, as I found a binder that works like a sports bra. I’m pretty small chested anyway, so no one would even notice.
I’m going to be blunt; if you feel like you need to express your identity somehow, do what you know you can get away with, which will depend on where you’re stationed.
But don’t get discouraged, I just remember the reason I joined and why I’m doing this, even if there is a law in place that currently prevents me from serving openly.
Be strong.
-Patrick
edit: I love this man.
-Sam